Forgiving Yourself?

I am writing this with a heavy heart because this topic has been a constant on my mind for some time and I have wanted to get my thoughts and feelings on "paper", but I had to do quite a bit of praying and studying the word first to truly understand the concept and my take on it. I pray that it blesses you or at least opens up your eyes to a potential disservice you have done to your growth or more importantly, God.

I am not perfect. No one is. We have all committed sins (1 John 1:8) that separate us from God (Isaiah 59:2). But if you take that sin to the Father and you humbly repent, you will be forgiven (1 John 1:9, Matthew 6:14, Acts 3:19). But what happens when the memory of that sin haunts us and we can't forgive ourselves? No where in the bible does it explicitly say anything about forgiving yourself, and to me that typically means one of two things, the concept doesn't exist OR, it is implied within the scripture and you need to search to understand what God expects of you. I'll explain both scenarios, at least from my perspective.

First, let's say the concept of forgiving yourself doesn't exist, which many people believe. The bible says we are to forgive one another as the Lord forgives us (Matthew 6:14-15, Colossians 3:13), it is important to note that biblically we are not forgiving another person's sin but rather for the pain or "grievance" we feel if they sin against us. That is important because we can't forgive sin, only God can forgive sin. Now then, who are we that we think we have the power to forgive our own sin? Is that not simply exalting self and denouncing God and His power? If God says you are a new creation and the past is the past (1 Corinthians 5:17-18), then who are you to believe otherwise?

Next let's take the same premise and understand the implied forgiveness of self that may be present depending on how you view the scripture and what you choose to believe. Let's say that in the same way we forgive others their grievances toward us, we want to forgive our grievances toward ourselves and/or others. In these cases you're not necessarily forgiving your sin, you're forgiving the hurt that you've caused yourself and forgiving the hurt you have caused others.

Matthew 18:15 says this, "Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother." It doesn't say to act with bitterness or resentment, in fact we are expected not to act in this way (James 3:14). So if you are holding your transgressions against yourself are you able to live without bitterness? Probably not. That bitterness against yourself will eventually come out because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45), and that bitterness will only serve to defile those around you (Hebrews 12:14-15).

Moreover it says to tell your brother his fault between thee and him alone, meaning it isn't something you gossip about or share with others, it is a matter between you and the person who has sinned against you. In this case it is between you and well, you.

In that sense it is a matter of YOU taking it to God and saying, "This is what I've done," and then believing you have been forgiven BY GOD, and then living in that forgiveness and not committing the same offense.

In essence it's not about forgiving yourself, it's about forgetting the past and not bringing it to memory or allowing it to defile you or others around you. Let the past be the past (Philippians 3:13-14) and let God do a new thing in your life (Isaiah 43:18-19).

Father God, I come to you humbly and pray for anyone reading this. I pray that if they are battling unforgiveness or bitterness that you begin to soften their heart to hear your word and do your will. I pray that you begin to speak to them now as they read this and show them the areas in their life that are displeasing to you so that they may get it right. I thank you for your grace and mercy unfailing love that covers them at this time and pray that you comfort them during this time of refinement. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.

Smiling for your victory,
Me