She was walking on air

Irritated... That seems to sum up my attitude for the past couple months. I find that anytime someone does something out of character I have been quick to become irritated instead of praying the way that I used to do. I go through this roller coaster in my walk where I feel like I'm either not doing enough or I'm doing too much. And I know many people think that as far as your walk there is no such thing as too much, but let me be the first to tell you that there is such a thing. We are not of this world and we definitely have to sanctify ourselves as Christians, but we can't get to the point of being, as my Pastor describes it, "weird". If I can't tell you honestly that I'm having a bad day without you rebuking me with "Death and life are in the power of the tongue!", then you're weird... I'm just saying. There is a fine line between being CHRISTian and being weird, but trust me, when you cross it, you'll know... But I had a point in all of this... Oh, yes, my roller coaster. So lately I have been in one of the lows of my roller coaster walk with God. Then I had a moment of clarity and understanding a week before Christmas and have been on a Jesus high ever since. The moment of clarity came after my grandmother shared with me a story, which I will now share with you. 

Back in the day my grandmother was a drinker and a cigarette smoker. She attended church on occasion but never really got anything out of it. Then one day while at work she decided she was going to quit smoking. At the time she worked as a seamstress and this was when smoking in buildings was still allowed, so she had a pack of cigarettes and an ash tray next to her sewing machine and would go through about a half a pack during a work day. This particular day she decided enough was enough, and she quit. Later when she was thinking about it she said she had a strong feeling that it was God that was calling out to her, but she wasn't sure how to answer. A week or so later she had heard that a prophet was coming to town and she was interested in going to the service. She went and she found out how to answer Gods call. She said she cried through most of the service and when it came time for the altar call she was up and walking to get prayer before she was asked to do so. After that day my grandmother said there was a weight lifted off of her shoulders and she began to feel as if she was literally walking on air. She said she cried for a week and wrote a song about her salvation that she still sings to this day. 

After hearing her testimony, I began to think about my own and all that God has brought me to and through. I got home and I cried out in prayer. I asked God to forgive me for forgetting my first love. I hadn't done anything particularly wrong but I hadn't done anything particularly right either. I hadn't been spending time in the bible and in prayer the way that I used to and it was beginning to wear on me without my knowledge. It was as if I just took for granted that God is always with me so I don't need to always spend time with Him, He will be there later right? And that is right, He will be there later, He will be there tomorrow, He will be there next week, next year, next decade, but will you? Your time can come at any moment and if you don't have that communication and relationship with God before that time comes, you definitely won't have it after.... 

Prayer: Father God, today I rededicate my life to you. I give you all of me. I pray that you strengthen the fire and the desire in me to know you. I want the the desire that I had when I first came to know you. I want a new addiction to your word, to your presence, to you. I know I'm a sinner and I need a savior, I know I cannot do this without you. I pray less of me and more of you shine in my everyday life, not just in my prayer life and my church life, but in all aspects of my life. I pray the light that shines within me be so mesmerizing that others are drawn to you by it. Father God I pray that if there are any aspects of my life that are unpleasing to you that you open my eyes to it so that I make them right. I pray that you give me opportunities to share your word, to share my testimony of what you have done in my life. I thank you for all that you have done in my life and all that you're about to do in me and through me. In Jesus mighty name AMEN. 

Enthusiastically Smiling, 

Me