I made the declaration that it's time to change, so now the changing begins. I met yesterday with my accountability partner, or partners as the case may seem, interestingly enough. We ascertained each others position and agreed upon short term goals that will keep us on track. We will be meeting regularly to go over progress and to encourage and assist in the process. It might seem like a bit much, but it's necessary. We are all in similar positions where we want change and we need that accountability in order to truly make the effort.
I have always been independent. I have done things my way, and I have succeeded. It's difficult to switch gears and be an integrated part of a support system. I have always been able to be the support system for someone else, have had no problem encouraging and assisting, but taking that encouragement and assistance is different. I don't take compliments well, I don't like when people try to help me. I have thought about this in the past and someone told me it was an issue of pride, but I don't see it that way. I'm not trying to do the things myself because I do it better or because I necessarily desire to do it myself. It's more an issue of if I fail I want to fail alone, I don't want to bring others down with me.
Having that in the back of my mind has always made it difficult to truly be a part of a support system. I can't say that I won't still have my hesitations about it some days, but I know that if I want to flourish I must be pruned. I must sanctify myself and prepare myself for the next step in my calling. This process won't be easy... But I am equipped and prepared to go through it.
I'm still smiling, are you?
Rosemary
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